A Closet Full of…Meh…

It’s summertime sales season, and it has been quite a chore to put my credit card back in the little pocket in my wallet where it belongs when there are things like this, and this running around for 50% off. I’ve resorted to asking my best friend, “Do I Need This?” before I make any purchase. She has definitely nixed a few things and I think my closet will eventually thank her for it. On the other hand, she has made some alternative suggestions, including trading a floral jean purchase for waxed boa-print denim. Who knows where her true loyalties lie. But, my bank account is grateful. Me, I’m not sure how I feel about her right now…

Untitled #129

Long Dress, Acne. Sunglasses, Karen Walker. Black pumps, Altuzarra. Hat, Brixton. Ankle Boots, Alexander Wang. Floral Dress, Haute Hippie. Pink Skirt, Marc Jacobs. Red Dress, Babajaan. Fringe Boots, Maison Martin Margiela, 22. Floral Romper, Etoile Isabel Marant. Jacket, Vanessa Bruno.

What we did discuss is putting the money aside that I might’ve spent on something that is kinda…alright, for something that I would invest it and wear for a whole season or longer. I have so many clothes in my closet that I will never ever wear/can’t fathom what encouraged me to make the purchase. If half of my stuff wasn’t in storage right now I would visually demonstrate my problem. But I can’t so close your eyes and think gold sequined vest. I know it’s a vest with glitter, and so it’s probably amazing, but actually it is terrible so don’t get ahead of yourself.

The point is that if I took out everything in my closet I hated, and might not have really even liked when I bought it, I could probably pay off my law school debt buy the entire Isabel Marant spring collection. That’s not true of course, you can’t really trade Zara for Isabel, unless of course we are talking about this, but you see my point. A penny saved is a penny closer to some other pair of future shoes that I am dying over, but in the meantime it’s these. Which might even save the gold vest, but then again, that really undercuts my argument.

I really hoped I’d make it somewhere in this writing, to impart you with some life-shopping lesson, but I feel that I have more words than you have attention. So good luck through this, the best shopping time of the year.

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He Said She Said: The Great Peplum Debate

Times are tough, the economy is no-good, and Uncle Sam isn’t so generous with his givings these days. Since when do Uncle’s charge interest? That can’t possibly be American. That puts me always on the lookout for a good deal, so when I see a two-for-one skirt, I have to get it. Even if it is technically only one skirt, that looks like two skirts, it still sends the message hey I am resourceful and very conscious of my budget.

To ensure that my investment in this skirt (available here) would be worth it, I sent this picture (while still clearly in the dressing room) to my best friend who told me “Where can’t you wear that?!?” Those were my sentiments exactly so into the ol’ shopping bag it went. Walking home, I realized I could eat a whole thanksgiving dinner and hide it under that top-skirt and figured I no longer had to save binge eating for one day a year. Holler.

I literally tried on four variations of the peplum trend, and planned on purchasing them all. However, I do enjoy eating during the week, and so thought it best my resources be used only for that peplum-piece that won over everyone’s hearts. Except for the one I already got. So surveying away I went.

Also available at Zara.

Lesson #1: No amount of style can save you from a sorry-looking expression. The extra layer of fabric went unnoticed to most of my male survey members, one of whom stated “The only place I’d want to take her is Great Clips.” Another stated, “She looks confused and I am just as confused as she is, is there a zipper under there?” I wasn’t sure what relevance the garment’s closure had until another told me it looked like it was made for easy urinal access. I guess that counts as resourceful.

On the other hand, some of my girlfriends thought this looked like a fun way to be serious while being serious and fun (my words not theirs). One (in marketing, in NYC, non-Peggy style) thought this serious/creative balance would help her boss realize the need to give her a well-earned promotion. Yet another thought the business on-top-party-on-the-bottom combo made her a solid choice for a cheap beer, liquid lunch date. You know, for bizniz.

Honestly though, I was a little disheartened by the lack of offense the male-participants took with that skirt. So disheartened in fact, I considered sending them a bunch of pictures of celebrities with short hair. Instead, I found this top which to me looks perfect for a work party, or holiday event, or bad-day when I need a little bit of glitter and cute. I was disheartened again to learn that the only event my friend though appropriate for this number would be a Carrot Top Show because I wouldn’t be the strangest thing in the room.

Top by Mulberry

Most of the offense came with the fact that the girl was pictured without a face, some wondered how fast she could run in cheetah shoes. One thought she resembled the Dutch Boy who serves as representative for the butter company, but then again, no that can’t be because she has a nice body and therefore likely avoids butter. All of my friends agreed that this shirt was way to cutesy (“She should go somewhere cliche, like a bachelorette party or “girls night”) to be worth the investment. And you all know I love a good consensus piece. I might not have thoroughly explained that yet…

Overall to me, that makes the first skirt a winner and the second shirt a loser. I’m not sure my desire to look professional at a work party (assuming I go to one of those someday) can be overcome by an association with Carrot Top.

Also I feel like I should give a Lesson #2 to provide some context to the first Lesson (above) but I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. 

What do you think? Have you jumped on board the Peplum Trend? Would you wear any of these things? Please save me from embarrasment before I go full-peplum!

How to Drink Cocktails and Look Good Doing It (Part II)

Ok, I know what you are thinking. I already wrote this. Which of course is true, I did. But I went out this weekend and I realized people aren’t listening to me. Are they crazy? Why would you not want to wear denim, leopard, army green, cargo pockets, red lace, glitter and leather at the same time? Duh! Do it!

So I went to a bar, let’s just say it was not a bar that demanded a high level of dress. Ok, let’s just say that bar is in Fenway and has “Tequila” and “Rain” in the title. Let’s also say that if you go to a bar with either or both of those words in the title and you happen to drink a two foot long frozen something or other with bourbon (not tequila?) your body might remind you for three days afterwards that you went to a bar with “Tequila” and/or “Rain” in the title. Ouch.

This way, I know its mine!

Before I go further, let me just say I am a huge advocate of anything short with heels. Its my favorite thing. I recognize that the time is coming when I won’t be able to get away with mini-skirts and stilettos and so I plan to rock it for as long as possible. Theoretically, because I am no longer an undergrad that time may have passed, but I can rest on the fact that I am still a student so its ok. Or just in denial, but either way, I’m going with it.

I also know that girls get dressed up for their girlfriends and girl strangers, not strange boys. In fact, in my opinion it’s the opposite–the hope is that stranger girls think you look good and strange boys leave you alone. For that reason, my forthcoming statements about hoo-has and ta-tas are limited to what I think, not what boys think with their pants. Or what’s in their pants. This is all getting very uncomfortably NSFW.

First of all, never show your hooha. I’m not sure whether or not to hyphenate that. I know that’s foundational but when I think people need advice, I never hesitate to word vomit all over them. It might seem like a worthwhile risk in the evening after a few cocktails. You may be thinking “I’m free. I’m independent. I don’t care what people think.”

But remind your intoxicated self, that sober self has to wake up the next morning to ask “How many people saw my underpants last night?”

See, no one in Beverly Hills would serve this lady… What a hussy Oh yeah, still got it.

Dress Rag & Bone (old), Shoes BCBG Max Azria, Bracelets, Tai and Kwiat

General rule of advice, if you are dancing around the idea of flashing strangers with your barely-there bottoms, first call me, second, cover up up-top. No need to show the whole world the whole bit of what your momma gave you.

Jacket Urban Outfitters, Chambray Shirt, J Crew

Second of all, my chest never really made it through puberty so my advice on covering up on top is both limited and biased, because I might as well be a 17-year old boy and I’m still jealous of the most popular girl in middle school. Nevertheless, the rule applies in opposite too! Show some boob, cover some legs or arms or both. As I am writing this, I am planning the photographs I am taking, and I just got very uncomfortable at the idea of actually following up on this, but that’s ok because there is still plenty of time in the day for wine.

I tried to take pictures of a low cut something or other but all it highlighted was my sternum, which is strangely deep, and my rib cage. So Pretend these are major league yabos (I just learned that)

Shorts, Winter Kate, Shoes, Luxury Rebel. Blue Books in the background, Journal with my published note, holler.

Then pretend this man shirt is a pair of baggy pants. Then dance to Miss New Booty.

Longest post ever, but its half about boobs, so Delta 0!?

Weekday Wardrobe (W)Happenings

I woke up this morning so stressed about my week and all of the various meetings, and to-dos that have piled up. Then, I thought, “Oh I need to make time to write my blog-post about all my fun eating and clothing adventures this week.” Then I realized, maybe I am not so busy after all. But, I am. It’s a law student’s job to constantly feel like the busiest person on the planet.

In discussions for my next project (big.huge.staytuned.) I talked with a dear friend about how hard it is to put yourself out there (i.e. take pictures of yourself) on a blog that your friends and moms are going to see. It’s terrifying. On the other hand, people are my mom is always telling me, “Laura you are so fashionable. And everything you do is delicious.” (Just kidding, she would never say that.) So who am I to be selfish and keep all my good ideas to myself?

So Tuesday. Silent Auction to benefit public interest law, followed by a self-interested dinner and drinks at Parish Cafe (On the patio might I add…in Boston…in March) and then a stroll down Newbury with the man-friend. For those of you who do not know Parish Cafe, it has a selection of sandwiches created by some of the best chefs in all of Boston. Additionally, some of the proceeds are donated to the church next door. It’s wonderful.

T-Shirt, Adam by Adam Lippes. Skirt, Rag & Bone. Jacket, Armani Exchange. Necklace, Cara Couture. Bag, Yumi Kim.

I’m going to warn you now, I have plans to repeat this picture, so stay tuned and ignore the graininess.

Then there was Wednesday. Girls night dinner to Sorrellina in the Back Bay. To me, modern Italian cuisine obviously means leather and denim. I chose to wear it upside down though, with brown leather shorts and a denim jacket.

Shorts, Calypso St. Barth. Bag, Hayden Harnett. Shoes, BCBG Max Azria. Mullet Shirt, Cheap Monday.

Yes, it was laundry day in the picture above. Sue me. But don’t because I’m a know-it-all law student who will win.

Sorrellina’s was wonderful. We went for restaurant week and ordered an exorbitant three courses. In the first two, Burrata with proscuitto and rhubarb chutney, and a rib-eye with gorgonzola butter and a cheesy baked potato, my only complaint was the overdone-ness of the potato. But let me say, Holy Butterscotch Pudding. Seriously. Holy moly, amazing.

Denim jackets are always intimidating to bring back out of the closet. This one is Abercrombie & Fitch (seriously) and a remnant of my high school days. I’m hoping that now that I am old it has become ironically vintage. Then again, I think that is the whole marketing scheme of A&F so it might be too ironic to be ironic. Shoot.

Oh, and then this happened. Not as dramatic as the $1,000 ones with the pump-up-tongue, but really quite fantastic. Plus, they have inspired me to play some pick-up bball games and get a flat-top hair cut.

Shoes, Nine West Lana Sneakers.