He Said She Said

In a new installment called “He Said She Said” I will review the various clothing and or potentially food items that I am obsessed with and boys are not? So far I hate the way this is going, it sounds like it should be on the Oxygen channel, so by next installment, I will revise entirely. Keep in mind that my outfits have on occasion rendered my boyfriend cross-eyed, although he did admit that my polka-dot, silk, harem pants I wore this weekend, were in fact, Easter-y. So I’m not really going for a resolution here, just a survey of discrepancies. Mars and Venus blah blah blah something about toilet seats…

For my first review, I picked the newly-repopular Lennon Sunglasses. Now a fixture on every street-style website, I find myself hating my Cat-Eye Wayfarers that months ago seemed so cutting edge.

Image Courtesy of altamiranyc.tumblr.com

I thought for sure that these would evoke some sort of conflict between the male and female genders. If I put these on, it would be me saying, “Hey, I’m with the band. No, I’m in the band. Or am I just with the band???” To which men wonder, “Seriously, which one is it….” or maybe, “I wonder how the Sox did today.”

Instead, there was a pretty general consensus that these were pretty great or at least acceptable, although maybe made her eyes look too far apart. Definitely a “try before you buy sentiment.” In asking, I was also chided for cutting my hair (“I acknowledge you have cut your hair before, we all make mistakes—let’s move past it”), and not asking questions about Terminator 1, 2, or 3, or Salvation or whatever.

Keep in mind that my friends generally have plenty to say, so the fact that the conversation devolved into a discussion of movies they have each seen 67 times each/each, means these sunglasses must be (by all girl standards) pretty neutral/amazing/I need them.

Some things we did learn:

  • Short hair is really a polarizing issue. If you are recently out of a relationship, and committed to staying single, cut your hair. If you have been single for awhile, and you don’t want to be, now you know why. One friend emphasized his confusion with “This girl may be hot but I can’t tell you, because I am so enraged that she is trying to look like Peppermint Patty”
  • Seriously, don’t cut your hair unless you are celibate.
  • Questions about sunglasses and “boa-constrictor” scarves lead to overall life-learning: “I thought this was the cover for Terminator 2, and that the model was Edward Furlong. If I am correct, then definitely buy that movie, but otherwise I wouldn’t watch any other crap that Eddie Furz is in. Except American History X, and maybe Detroit Rock City.” You’re Welcome.

UPDATE: The issue of sunglasses is irrelevant. There has since been an overwhelming response to the issue of short hair. [authors note: that girl is a top model and is in fact, insanely good looking.] Ladies, if your friend tells you to cut your hair, she is trying to steal your boyfriend. Apparently it is a fact. As per my friend Owen:  “Its basically a way for girls to trick other girls into looking stupid, so that guys won’t be interested in them it has to be. I’ve never ever been talking to a bunch of guys and heard some one say, “Wow, that chick would be hot, if only she had a haircut like Moe Howard.””

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